02.28.06
Today, I nearly burnt my house down…
Today I am in a lecture, crapping myself as I have to give a presentation at the end.
It’s all quiet and everyone is collecting handouts.
The boy next to me eats a bite of his sandwitch… I think (I want a sandwitch, All I’ve had to eat today was a bowl of oat-so-simple, and those sausages…)
Immediatly, I stand up, in the middle of the lecture and shout at the top of my voice, all frantically:
“SHIT, I DIDN’T EAT MY SAUSAGES, I’VE LEFT THEM IN THE OVEN!!!!!!!”
everyone looks at me like I’m mad… So I say (in my defense) “I was cooking them really slowly as they were frozen, on a low heat, but I put them in before neighbours – so it was like 4 hours ago!!! My house might of burnt down….”
Everyone is staring at me, so I say to my lecturer – “shit, I might have to go home if there’s nobody in – excuse me for one minute I need to make a phonecall.”
I phone my next-door neighbour, who thankfully is in, has a key and who turns the oven off for me, sausges burnt to a crisp and black as the ace of spades.
I get back to the lecture and explain that everything is ok now, and that if it wasn’t for the boys sandwitch I would never have remembered….!
BUT! Then just before my presentation, the boy next to me writes on a piece of paper:
“Beijing Conference………..Boring.
Simon Sweeny………………Really Boring.
Presentations………………..Really Really Boring.
SHIT, I’VE LEFT MY SAUSAGES IN THE OVEN…….PRICELESS!”
I couldn’t stop laughing so much, I had to put the book in front of my face and pretend I was reading the sections through the presentation…..Oh dear….
Then I thought to myself….
“did I really say shit in the lecture hall, in front of 20ish people, in front of my university lecturer?”
Oh god….
Jem said,
February 28, 2006 at 8:25 am
Funny, I decided to cook tea early last night.. so, I stuck everything on, went back in the front room to diddle with my laptop. It wasn’t until about an hour and a half later when my stomach started rumbling that I remembered I’d actually put tea on. Went into the kitchen and everything under the grill was black and burned. :/
I don’t know how the smell didn’t waft into the front room.. you could smell it everywhere else in the house!
Carly said,
February 28, 2006 at 5:30 pm
^ How strange, we both forgot about our food?!
Rosemarie said,
March 1, 2006 at 2:18 pm
you find my site in the weirdest ways XD
Your stats, by googling me, uh…
actually that was it.
It felt longer when I came here to tell you about it
Thanks for the sway plug.
One time I burnt a poptart by putting it into the microwave for 30 minutes instead of 30 seconds. It lit on fire and stuck to the plate
I’m sure your lecturer doesnt’ mind that you said shit. Some of mine say fuck all the time